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Wednesday, December 5, 2007

When You Least Expect It...

I've often heard that love comes along when you least expect it. Here we go again with another favorite theory for singles. Let me explain...

There's alot of least expecting it in my life. I never expect an internet date to amount to anything. It's not so that I can SAY I "least expected" it. It's just that I've learned not to look there. The guys are generally too shy for it to amount to anything. Sometimes you don't even end up talking on the phone because they chicken out. Freaking everybody is on the internet. That means that, just like in real life, you have to sort through a bunch of freaks.

I am a teacher. I really wouldn't expect to meet anybody at work. Sure, it might be fun to meet a cute new teacher. The other teachers that are single don't seem to be interested in me, can be rude and make sexual comments. The rest of the "men" around are and average age of 16. Gross and illegal. Would you pick any of them? Yeah, me either.

I have been a performer on and off throughout the years. I really wouldn't expect to meet anything but a bunch of drama queens and queeny boys performing. It's great to have a new shopping buddy every now and then, though!

I've joined interest group organizations and landed a few dates. But once on the dates discovered we were extremely ill matched and incredibly uncomfortable. After a string of these that I hoped would work out, rumors about me being a tease forced me to leave the organization.

I've been hit on mercilessly at salsa clubs and classes when I decided to take up a new hobby. Just not what I was looking for.

I don't expect friends to set me up. It never has worked out. If it did, I could say that, "It came out of nowhere when I least expected it."

I haven't really expected to meet a man at a bookstore, supermarket, gym, walking down the street or any other place. I have met men this way. It's just that they revealed themselves to be unsavory in one way or another. I went my merry way, much to their chagrin. Noe of them amounted to anything. But I really didn't expect it to.

After I mentioned my single state a woman demanded indignantly, "Please tell me you don't go to church just to meet men!" I don't go to church expecting to meet anyone. I had coffee with ONE guy from church last year. It had been years since and it's been a year since then. I'm sure there are quality guys at church, they just don't ask me out.

If you added up the sum total number of hours that I least expected to meet someone, that's quite a few years. Much longer than anyone else's list of "least expecting" it.

Real life is not like high school or college where everywhere you go you are meeting eligible singles near your age. You can least expect it and still meet someone.

If I were to say that I actually don't expect to find love or get married at all anymore, people would tell me that's sad. I really hope that I will sometime. I just don't EXPECT to. When I least expected it most recently, I had a couple of nice dates and then found out the guy was a little bit weird. That's the "I'd rather text than talk" guy.

I'm glad that "least expecting it" worked out for you. That's wonderful. And it makes you feel better to say SOMETHING. It's what you really BELIEVE. Wish it worked for me like it did for you! If you said this to me in real life I would smile, thank you for the advice and say, "You really ought to read my blog."


2 comments:

Amanda said...

Well I was one of those ones that told you it would come when you least expect it but it is true, if your not in a hurry and looking. Instead of "dating" why not just tell new guys your not into "dating" but you'd go out as friends. This is one way to take the pressure off the guy so he stays relaxed, your expectations are not to high and this way you can get to know what they are like as they are relaxed and themselves. You'd be surprised how many guys don't know how to act on a first date, especially if they know your in a hurry to find companionship. If your not happy with the guys in your age range, you should look at dating men who are legally separated or divorced who may be older then yourself. It's not always the man's fault there was a divorce and doesn't mean he must be a loser. When I was in my 20's I was also looking to find someone who I could really see a future with and all the guys I dated were either not ready for that kind of commitment or they were not someone I saw a future with. My husband and I met at work, he was married at the time and I stayed away, no married men should ever be approached, no matter how much you like them, they are off limits. He ended up separating from his wife, and not because of me, but 7 months after his separation we got together and it will be 17 years this February. He had two sons at that time and they are my children too along with the three my husband and I had together. So you see, I saw what he was like away from dating and when the right time happened, it happened and trust me, I had a huge crush the moment I met him, but like I said "married men" no matter what they say to you, are off limits unless they are actually over. Good luck to you, your match will come one day and when he does, you'll know it.

D said...

I don't think going out as "just friends" would really have made any difference. I have done that. You just have to be a match--a combination of right person and right time in each others lives. I have dated older men, too. Every love story is different! I just need to write about it all because, well, why not?