Sunday, December 9, 2007
Another One Bites the Dust
Another potentially good date goes BUST--all when I least expected it. To the guy who is reading my blog, please let this serve as a hint of what NOT to do!
Things have been cracking lately. It's one date after another. But just when I think I find something, well, wouldn't you know it? It just doesn't work out.
This one really had promise. I met a guy when I went to a museum with a group, we'll call him Jim. He was attractive and funny. We come from the same faith background. We had a great time joking around. I saw him at some other events because we run in the same circle. But one of the events he totally ignored me, so I got mad at him. I saw him at another event--we all went to a musical--and he was acting weird. I remember thinking, please God, tell me he isn't dating this girl he is sitting next to. I just left without saying anything to him. I pulled my New York trick of walking on the street to avoid the crowd.
It turns out he was dating her. But then it didn't work out, so he called a friend who then called me to ask if I could give him my number.
"OK. You're weirding me out, though. I thought he wasn't interested in me. He ignored me when we all went to the Dodger game and then he acted weird when I last saw him."
"Well, take it from me, he totally is."
He called me 5 times before we went out just for dinner on Saturday night. It was pleasant enough, but something kind of gnawed at me. Instead of talking about fun things and getting to know each other, he told me all about the relationship he had just gotten out of. Then he told me, "Do you know how many women from online I have sent an email too? I have been rejected so many times. We're talking 1000 times." What do you say to that? Here I am, a nice pretty girl sitting across from him because I am attracted to him. What do I say?
"I was seeing someone too, but then he got sick. Then I got sick. It just didn't work out. But it worked out pretty well for you because I'm available! And it worked out pretty well for me that she doesn't want to see you anymore, right? So who cares?" Apparently he does cause he wouldn't stop talking about it. He also knows exactly what he's looking for, but can't seem to find it.
All the right things were there. He opened doors--even my car door. We shared food. We even shared a cup of coffee. The conversation, quite plainly, sucked ass.
He started analyzing all the different kinds of women there are out there--and what kind of woman he thought I was. I didn't know until that moment, but being analyzed on a date is my new pet peeve.
And then there were the, ahem, naughty comments.
Jim: "Wow, if even if something were to happen tonight, I have a friend staying with me. This sucks." I said nothing in response.
Jim: "You seem like the kind of girl who would be chill with just watching a movie at someone's place."
D: "Really? That's interesting. I usually stay away from going to someone's place until I know them really well."
Jim: "If we were up near your place and had some beers, we'd be in alot of trouble."
D: "No we wouldn't I live with my parents right now."
Jim: "A man usually tries to have sex with a girl so that way he doesn't have to worry about her taking his call the next day. I can't think of a woman that I didn't think of more the day after."
D: "Really? I never thought of it that way."
Was he, how do you Americans say...laying it on thick?
The next night he called me. After hints at some bizarre fuzziness in his thinking the night before, he brought it up again. "I wish I could be everything you needed me to be. It would make things so much easier. You are so open and you don't play any games. If I were in a better place..."
This began to sound like blah blah blah blah.
"What are you trying to say?"
I don't think he even knew. I just don't think I can operate on that level of intensity all the time. So I asked Jim, "Why did you go through all the effort of tracking down my number if you were going through stuff?"
"Well, several days passed before we actually talked and got together. I don't know. Sometimes I'm so sad I want to stay in bed all day. Sometimes I want to get out and be social. And other times I get really horny and really want to be with someone."
"That's definitely TMI."
Already this is a chore. It's just not the fun I thought I would be having with Jim. He isn't what I expected at all. He's just too intense. Why not relax and have a good time?
Here I was thinking this guy asked me out when I least expected. That's supposed to be a good thing, right? It was a refreshing surprise. He said the last relationship lasted 3 weeks, that was all he could manage to get up to lately. He hoped he could get to two months on the next one. I joked that we should plan out the next couple of weeks and just have fun before we end it. I was going to joke that we should break up after Valentine's Day. It's already over as far as I'm concerned. He burned it out with such a high level of intensity. I know he thinks I don't play any games, but I told my friend all about it and asked if she could tell him I didn't want him to call me anymore.
So, guy who is reading my blog, I'm still available.