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Sunday, October 7, 2007

Sprained Ankle Adventures

I sprained my ankle at work. I have to wear a freaking BOOT! It's ugly, but it's kind of fun.

At first I thought my ankle didn't hurt that much... Well, I was wrong!

The first time I sprained my ankle, I was wearing some supercute sparkly aqua blue heels. At work. Yes, I'm an idiot. But I used to wear them in NYC walking down the sidewalk and this didn't happen! But, then, there isn't enough grass in NYC for you to step in so that the heel of your supercute sparkly aqua blue shoes sinks into the sod and makes your ankle wobble. What possessed me to wear those to SCHOOL? (See pictures, there are the naughty shoes--ahem just one plus an ugly boot.)

I am a new teacher, I didn't want to report anything. I got an ice pack from the nurse and made her promise not to tell.

That was dumb. So much for being savvy.

The next week I was walking confidently across the parking lot to take the attendance. It was the evening of our back to school night. I stepped on a rock near where they are doing construction. My ankle rolled. This time I didn't hold back. Then they sent me to the freaking clinic. I was seriously not amused. I pouted.

I was good and wore the darn thing. My students seriously had fun with this. Miss D, be careful how you walk in that thing or you'll end up with a goofy foot."
"My foot? What do I care about my foot when the rest of me is already goofy?"

"Miss D, this is how you walk."

"Yeah, I do. Walk this way. No really, walk THIS way." Exaggerated limping.

"Miss D, how come you get to sit and put your foot up and I can't?"

Why do I think it's funny that my latest nickname is Hop-a-log Cassidy? Or that one of my students pretends she is injured, too.

I was good and wore the boot until Saturday. I wasn't hurting, so I decided that I must not really need the boot. I taped up my ankle and went shopping. OUCH ALMIGHTY! Vanity is definitely not Savvy. You can bet I wore that thing today. I went shopping again, with little ouchies from yesterday. Luckily I can stuff an ice pack in there.

I even shoved vanity aside and rode the little cart at Target. People were seriously looking at me funny. So I put my foot up to show off my boot. Seriously, the guys that work there all want to ride that thing, and now I know why! It's fun! It beeps when you back up. Anytime I had to wait in line, I would just put my foot up. The security guard smiled and waved at me as if to say, "Lucky, smart girl." I just smiled back, put my foot up on the cart and leaned back a little bit. I even made a girl that works at Target walk out with me. She got to ride the thing back. "Hey, all the guys are gonna be so jealous." She smiled as she got on it. "Yeah, but I bet all of these people think I'm just goofing off."

I might go back to Target tomorrow just so I can ride the cart around again. I might as well take advantage of the pain and weight gain and enjoy some of life's little pleasures like getting dirty looks from people who think I'm faking, and saying "BEEP BEEP, excuse me!" Almost running over people who realize I'm not an old lady and that the thing beeps as you back up are priceless. When I'm old, it won't be nearly so much fun. Then I'll be grouchy about all the obstacles they have for old people. This boot isn't so bad after all. It gives me bragging rights. No one suspects that I stepped on a little rock. The rock gets bigger every time I tell it. The earth nearly swallows me and people say, "You must have really jacked up your ankle bad. They don't give the boot for nothing, you know." I just smile, put my foot up, and say, "Hopefully I won't have to wear it too much longer." What a lie.

My foot in the cart at Target--look, I'm buying a scooter!

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