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Sunday, October 28, 2007

Misunderstandings and Dirty Old Men

I was hired to sing at a wedding and met the family at a rehearsal dinner. Then the drama began.

I thought I had a great time meeting this family. After all, this was the family of a friend of mine. Some people I already knew were there and I was affectionate. I'm Latina, we hug and kiss people.

As I was saying goodnight to people, there were many hugs and kisses as are the usual custom. I don't remember half of the people.

I'd love to say that the singing went off without a hitch, but there was some backstage drama. It also started about 20 minutes late. The organist handed me the music to the mass 20 minutes before we were supposed to start and wouldn't go over it with me. Then tried to hand me different responses in Spanish halfway through the mass. I got lots of compliments on the Ave Maria. There was, again, some hugging and kissing. In fact, the father of the bride hugged me twice.

I got to the reception and nothing had started yet. There were excessive amounts of pictures to take and my friend who had hired me pulled me aside. She told me to go easy on the hugging because someone's wife got uncomfortable.


"I've waited a really long time to meet the right person. I'm not going to throw that away by going after someone that belongs to someone else."

"I just wanted you know. I've known this family for a long time now and they're special if you get what I mean. They're kind of funny with outsiders. Plus I wanted you to know in case anyone is weird with you."

I was a little bit weirded out and upset. I found myself in the bar spilling my guts out to a bartender over a soda. She thought it was ridiculous. Some of the groomsmen came in. One looked away when I looked, so I looked away. When I looked back, he looked away again. Was he the guy? I had two groomsmen to my right. I slipped out of there.

As I walked out into the foyer, I ran into my friend's husband touched my arm to stop me. "I wanted to tell you how beautiful the Ave Maria was." He touched my arm. "I know it's hard to believe, but you made me cry." He touched my arm again. I smiled and said, "Thank you so much." I started freaking out. What if someone got the wrong idea from him touching my arm? "Have you seen -----? I have to find her." He was needed somewhere for some pictures, so I was able to make a clean getaway.

I ran into the father of the bride. I thought I might be safe there.

"How is your ankle?"
"OK, I'm not wearing my boot. I taped it instead. See?"
"I noticed. Here are some kisses for your ankle for it to get better." He blew some kisses at my feet.
"Oh, thank you."
"All you need is some kisses and a massage and you will feel better."
"If you find a nice single guy my age, let me know."
"Does he have to be your age?"
"No, I guess not. As long as he's nice."
"Does he have to be single?" He opened his arms to indicate his willingness to help me heal.
I smiled and laughed. "Oh, yes, he does have to be single. That wouldn't be fair since you already have a wife. I should get my own guy, right? By the way, have you seen -----? I really need to find her."

I slipped away to find ----- and then sort of hid in a changing room. I had been invited to stay for the reception. I had even looked forward to the possibility of meeting someone there or something, but now I felt too uncomfortable. I could have laughed off the father of the bride if it hadn't been for an unfounded accusation. The only kind of woman who would get jealous that someone had hugged and kissed her husband in the midst of hugging and kissing many other people would be a woman with a cheating man. And cheaters apparently run in the family.

This was too much drama for a bunch of people that weren't my family. I made my escape. I thought about telling -----, but after the accusation I heard coming through her, I didn't think she would believe me.

My cousin thinks I was exaggerating about the father of the bride, but I don't. All it takes is for the woman to be willing. I didn't feel like playing to find out if it was a bluff or a joke. I don't think it's hard to figure out that if it sounds like a come on and feels like a come on, it probably is.

I'm also still trying to figure out if he's the father of the bride or the grandfather of the bride.


Darcy said...

I understand what you are saying about all you had to be was willing.
Men can be true pigs !!!
sorry that happened to you.

Anonymous said...

"Men can be true pigs !!!"

Women can be absolute cunts!!!

How does that sound?

Sexism goes both ways,sweetheart.

Keep spouting your misandry,you're only making it harder on yourself when there is a reckoning for this little "battle of the sexes" that you started and perpetuate with crap like this "Men are pigs" bullshit.

You're the fucking pig, you sexist bitch.

SavvyD said...

My dear Anon,

In this instance, that man was hitting on me. I contend that he was most certainly not on his best behavior and Darcy expressed her distate.

Unfortunately, the comment that inflammed you was written almost 2 years ago, so I doubt she will read it.

Please note she did not say ALL men, note she didn't say ARE, she said CAN. There is a difference in terms of syntax.