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Sunday, August 5, 2007

Oops, forgot to call!!

Sometimes in life and in dating we seem to disconnect. My cousin tried to convince me I was being too picky, so I tried to give an online beau a chance. I received an email from the guy promising to call...

Hi D,

Well I was surprised to hear your voice on my phone. The only reason I have not called back as of yet is when I remember to call it is past 9pm or I am at work. I don't know what your work schedule is like so I thought it would be only polite not to call to late. I will be calling you tomorrow evening to try get to know you a little better and maybe even meet. On church on Sunday I ran into some old friends that I have not seen in at least 8 years and they invited me to join them at the beach Saturday morning. I have Saturday thru Tuesday off this week so we will see what happens.

I am not sure if your interested in seeing a play but my churches performing arts ministry is putting on a performance of "Joseph and The Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat". If you would like to join me then please let me know. I get off work at 6pm tomorrow so I will call you some time after that.


Are you surprised that he didn't call? At first I was, but I guess I'm really not anymore. You can read all the excuses he's making. I've been on enough dates where someone misrepresented themselves and it became quite uncomfortable. Or we just had conflicting personalities. It's been known to happen, right?

Truthfully, it's happened with people I've met in person. I called someone after exchanging numbers. We were both ex-patriate New Yorkers who shared how much we loved the Big Apple while standing in the middle of Chinatown. One of my cousins was there when we met and inspired me to call even though he had made a few anti-Mexican remarks that I didn't like. After talking for a few minutes, he said, "Hey, why don't we go out for a drink or a walk or something on Sunday? Nothing fancy, just hang out." I answered, "Sure, sounds fun." I was driving on a road with many stops trying to get back to the freeway. He said I was breaking up, but I wasn't sure I believed him. "Why don't we talk on Saturday morning. I'll give you a call... Or you can call me." I answered, "Yeah, sounds great." Saturday morning rolled around. I slept in. It was highly unlikely that I would call him because I had already called him. It just seems desperate for a girl to keep calling, especially since being the true New Yorker that he was, he didn't have a car and I would be driving out to see him. Do you think he really intended to meet up with me? Or was he just inviting me to do something because he didn't know how to get off the phone?

I have to admit that I've done it too. I have told people I just met that I would call them just to get rid of them. I had my reasons.

I was looking for the place where I would be filing some paperwork downtown when I was approached by a guard. He, of course, wanted to just be helpful and friendly by walking me there instead of just pointing me in the right direction. He was very complimentary. "If I were available, I'd definitely want to be with you. You're beautiful."

"Thank you. And you're married. I see that ring on your finger."

He told me about his wife of 22 years. "Even though I'm married, have I lost the privilege of calling you?"

Was he persistent or what?

"Why don't you give me your number and I'll call you the next time I'm coming here." He wrote his number on a post-it note.

"Is there any chance I can have your number?"

"You'll have have it when I call you." Which is never.

Perhaps it's not a matter of online dating. Perhaps we are just trying to protect ourselves. Perhaps people are actually doing you a favor by not showing up, not calling and not emailing. Maybe he met someone (doubtful), maybe he's actually married (possible), maybe he's had too many bad dates to keep trying (most likely). Perhaps we should be thankful for the bad date that we just missed out on

For more dating mishaps:

Confessions of a Serial Dater

Dates from Hell -- The Accountant

Mean Boys

Would You Date this Dude?

1 comment:

Cindy said...

Love your blog!!